![]() ![]() Overall, we ALL have cognitive distortions and hold ourselves hostage to some bullshit ideal that we make up in our head. I'm happy to help you untwist your thinking and learn the skills to be able to do it on your own. yes, I'm accepting new private clients ) I'm joking. How do you stop? Well, that would be a longer post, or a private session with me. ![]() If you glance at those links and refer to my little narrative above you'll see I labeled myself, had polarized thinking, catastrophized, overgeneralized, and used lots of shoulds. Here's a good overview of 15 common cognitive distortions: Psychcentral Cognitive Distortions as well as a practical and useful worksheet on how to identify and then ways to challenge your faulty thinking: Untwist your thinking. They're inaccurate thoughts that are used to reinforce negative and faulty thinking. Put simply, cognitive distortions are ways our mind convinces us of something that really isn't true. My point is about expectations and what we in psychology call cognitive distortions. I discussed my personal experience here, but really, whether you're a parent, a single parent, a working parent, stay at home parents, or not a parent is insignificant to my actual point. Yes, I do have a point besides just venting. Those went out the window a long time ago. How the hell can I expect to have a perfect house? A perfectly fed child fluent in 3 languages? A successful career? Not to mention have some tiny semblance of a personal life? Or date? Or exercise? HA. Honestly, the worst part about it are the expectations I place on myself. Yes, I know there are many people that have it harder than I do and I should be grateful and blah blah, but damn. can't I still say that it's hard? Ok, so maybe I love to hate her, but it's only because I want to be her.īeing a single mom and working full time is HARD. A perfectly clean and decorated house, a daughter that gets nothing but homemade organic, gluten free, healthy food. Bad mom moment number 678,098.Īt this point I feel like a total failure. The battle in my head continues when I get home and walk upstairs and see the laundry overflowing my bathroom far from glistening. Tomorrow will be different, I promise myself. I shouldn't let him, we should speak Spanish or talk about life or what he learned at school some more, but I'm tired. If I have to listen to Paw Patrol for another minute I may lose my shit. The hugs and "I love you Mommy" that I get when I pick my son up from school melt away all frustration or tiredness, for that moment. Now, back to my other more important and much more difficult job, being a mom. Sometimes work even feels like a mini holiday. And sometimes I welcome Monday's with open arms. I manage to bury myself in work, welcoming the distraction. Can I have my medal please? A beer and a banana would be great too, thanks. oh, and maybe some ice cream with his pancakes, if its that kind of morning.Īll so that I can TRY to get out of the house at a reasonable time in the morning sans an epic meltdown (whether it would be him or I having the meltdown is yours to decide).īy the time I get to my desk I feel like I've already run a marathon. okay, maybe even a few bites with a spoon. Instead, I folded and let my son eat ketchup on his pancakes. A reminder that I suck as a parent and didn't hold my ground. ![]() Or when I walk into my house and there are dishes in the sink with crusty dried ketchup on them. The battle that starts when I get into my messy car that is littered with toddler toys and crumbs. ![]()
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